can't I write something without a title?

I have a lot more time than I thought I would for this semester.

Now that I am basically living in the cocoon of NUS, not going out of campus often nowadays. Main reason being to save money, actually. Besides studying and choir, I am just doing more readings. don't give me that frown... I know I'm a bookworm, should expand my social circle but then.. nevermind. Books get me thinking, more books get me thinking more. Great. I will die of overdosage of grubbish going through in my head.

I'm officially a skeptic now. doubting people, plans, myself, values, objectives, almost everything. yes, almost. I have lost the believer in me. where is she? Trust is something I'm so afraid of trusting anymore. Disappointments are all I get from trust. People are just living under the disguise of moral obligations.

Read few books for the past weeks. Mainly books regarding psych, and a little philosophical content. Most of the time, I see myself in the eyes of the author, it's like being stripped stark naked and being exposed. There's a book on love (interesting, fun and easy reading, gets you thinking as well), another on moral (don't quite like this book, everything is on the father of evolution - charles darwin), and a book on happiness (mentioned before I think, it's another great book).

FYP is still directionless. Just been reading more journal articles and thesis papers. Feels like I'm getting no where. Honest speaking, I'm quite scared. What if I screwed up my FYP? f*ck. Don't even want to think about it. I feel like I'm just avoiding it, this can't go on forever, someday very soon, I have to propose something to my sup and prof. Don't even talk about the amount of stress for a stupid girl like me!

School's ok. As usual. I hope can get better grades this semester. Have been telling myself this from the beginning of semester 1 -_-" and I'm already in semester 7.

Been talking to a long lost friend few days back. He's right. I'm fussy. I will never get into a relationship at the rate I'm choosing. Still waiting... Oh well, I'm happy with my life now. =) can't complain much.

I miss home. At the same time, I'm not sure if I want to be home. I agree with Dan Gilbert, we perceive our happiness in the future, and when that day comes, our happiness level isn't as high as we thought it'd be. Happiness is a perception. Botton mentioned a similar theory in his book On Love.

Yes, I should go home during mid-term break. Having shoes/sandals crisis now. I miss decent food from home. I miss everyone at home.

Oh did I mention, my room temporarily stores an old keyboard? yes, finally, I can play "piano" in my room.

Every Monday I anticipate the arrival of weekend. And now, on an early Saturday morning (ok, not that early anyway) I am spending my time in solitude in front of my computer. Feeling damn reluctant to get the day started.

Haven't kept myself updated with soccer as well. I should. I really should.

Am I neglecting my friends who have graduated? Sorry if I do... just am tired at times.

Perhaps I am getting home sick... getting gibberish.

stop here. period.