"hey man, why are you so dressed up today?"
"oh, I'm going to fo-tang (temple) later.."
I can't remember the last time I heard the name or visit a religious institution. Overheard that conversation few days ago in engin on my way to class. That phrase just caught my ear.
Not that I am a particularly religious person, but I used to visit the place of worship often enough to call myself a Buddhist. Triggered some thoughts and flashbacks. I remembered home. I remembered the scent of the incense, flowers, the familiar sound of mantra, I remembered that day clearly, playing back in my head, again. I felt a sense of detached, momentarily I was brought back to a year ago where all had happened.
Their fading sounds, the abrupt silence suddenly woke me from my stream of thoughts.
Now I'm at the present. I think of the past. I felt the throbbing pain. But I know that life still has to go on...
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"I still love her.."
"should I return all her stuff back to her?"
"Evevrything seems very blurr to me.."
I know it's very absolutely rude for me to pry into such conversation. But, I was trying hard to resist it.. the guy sitting in front of me during lecture yesterday was distracting. He was msn-ing during class with his friend. By the way, it was his friend that was confiding in him. Yes, I am very nosy.
I felt a little bad because I was feeling amused by that guy. I couldn't help to think that he is such an emotional guy. Perhaps he is really hurt and upset, maybe he is going through a hard time, probably he really is deeply in love with the girl... whatever the reasons, I failed to emphatize or feel sympathy toward that guy.
Or have I really turned immuned and stone cold hearted?
Or is it just a disguise I'm putting on? a denial factor inside me that refuse to face the real weak me. Always trying to act tough and strong and brave, but deep inside, lies a weak and helpless soul.
Anyway, whatever it was... probably he'll never forget that girl, but someday he'll meet another and will fall in love again, and his life will still continue with or without the previous girl.
Life is a mystery to be unfold?
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