dont' waste your time. doesn't make sense. :p

People get bored of my complaints
If that is not the case
I do get bored of myself

After so many tests, going through the same shit over and over again for 3 years, I really have nothing to say. Hmm... I don't even know now whether is this a good sign or bad. Getting bored of myself.. weirdo.

Much thoughts have been through my head recently; in and out, thinking about shit and stuff.

Whatever state that I'm in, I guess I'm the ultimate person to be blamed. I wouldn't have let anyone led me to this current mess if I have not consented to it right? Maybe.

I remembered a friend once told me. You can't tell yourself to stop thinking about something, because by doing so, you are actually activating that same thought that you are trying to stop. heh.. it does make some sense huh. So well, I won't ask myself to stop thinking, but, just, oh well, let it be. Whatever will be will be... let the future do the worrying. I guess. :p

For the first time in life I thought I should really just settle down, get a boyfriend, get a job that I enjoy working, earn money, pursue my interest, read all the books that I want, watch soccer again, write more, keep singing, travelling, get a house by the beach, retire young, retire rich of course haha.. Oh man.. I'm crapping the hell out of myself. shut up.

well, I do not have the privilege to complaint, but I certainly do have the liberty to crap, don't I? *wink*

If I die, I want white flowers, everything to be in white. :) thanks.

Talking about death, why do serial killers always chop people up and not melt them in a pan? Hahahhaa.. sorry, just saw Lauren Graham on The Late, Late Show, she was talking about that. (I find it very funny haha.. dunno why, maybe cos I'm just bored of studying, such a good distraction - youtube :p) I love lauren graham. In a way, I think I'm just as crappy as her. haha. I'm just an irritating girl.

Btw, do you believe in reward as in retribution? I guess I do, very much to a certain extent.

I don't like being used. f***! am I a paranoid skeptic to think that most people around me are just using me? not you people *hugs* *smiles* I'm just being a little nuts here, so just ignore me, k :) Sometimes I just feel stuck and compelled to do something which I don't really want to, but more of obligation or rather forced obligation. sucks. and the worse part of it, they try to make you feel good doing shit.

Oh heck.. I hope no one really analyse this crap I'm writing.. just writing for the sake of it. sorry, not meant to be reader-friendly. I'm so in the wrong mood right now. crap, it's exam season girl!! and you almost just died, remember?? doesn't that trigger any emergency button to save your ass??

OKAY. I'm outta here! :p gotta save my ass! Haha.

To everyone taking exams, hang in there, exams going to be over soon, GOOD LUCk and ALL THE BEST!! ** lucky stars ** for YOU! mwah!