turned a Tenor

feel very tired waking up... wanted to sleep all the way... though having weird dreams again. told myself it's a brand new day... have lost my voice, am a Ten0r now. sigh... keep on wanting to get pampered like a small girl... haha... that's how everyone feels when they fall sick right. wait long long la... no one will come so don't wait & don't get self pity. haha... ok, oh well, get real and go to school niao.er :) enough nonsense.

Never mind.

The phone call never came... already had a bad feeling about it last night... well nvm... at least there's something better than nothing.

Today's sectional was... neveR Mind again... I am learning... hope I didn't further confused anyone. Really paisei and sorry about it esp to the juniors if I'm really confusing... and sorry about being a little pissed at the beginning... I'm trying to be a good SL. Never mInd about choir..

No appetite. Seems like whatever I ate is not nice... haha... oh yes, the cheese biscuits were nice! Thanks girl. But a bit regret eating... really greedy. Why I like biscuits and still eat when I know my voice already like that... best now I feel worse... but then again... nEveR minD.

Dinner was equally not nice :( but never mind... I still finished it 'cos was very hungry.

My fingers and toes were cold... my face was warm... watery red eyes... burning throat... Who to complain to? Who to go to? Who will care for me right now right here? No one... NeveR mInd again. :) I can take care of myself. Felt little better after bath.

Best of all... MSN group discussion for project. :S cannot decide... 拖泥带水。Ahh... talk so much... no actions, nothing concrete at all... I really cannot take it... but nevEr mInd... I 忍... in the end I ended up coordinate everything... nvM...

So in the end, no time to do tmr's tutorial... that also nEveR MinD, cos go there can copy answer. really best...

Never mind. Nvm anything at all... I will just do my best I could. If things do not go my way, at least I did my best. haha... typing my blog already spent almost 15 minutes. could have at least read my tutorial Qs... :P But then again... NeVer mInD. *what the... *

dreamy girl

getting dreamy nowadays... plus forgetful... dunno why... sometimes giving myself unnecessay stress as well... queer... I feel really weird. Well... I guess I'm fine. I think.

having weird dreams recent nights... very weird dreams... I really wonder... doing things out of my routine... weird things just seem like happening... oh well... maybe I'm too stressed up and think too much. All is in my head... *repeat after me...* all is in my head...

haha... Anyway good luck to me ba! ;)

*glad*

*:) I've finally agak-agak know how to put background music. current music can only last I think around 30secs haha... n looping infinitely. nvm... I'm just happy I've figured out something I'm very idiotic at.

met my senior friend today.. thanks a lot! ** finally have some clear directions how to get our project going le.. we need to jiayou.. we can make it de! :) Is great to work with an efficient and dynamic team! although we have lots n lots of things to learn, source, and need to build everything from nothing! It is a challenge, let's work hard together!

3rd day since the incident le... I'm not tht angry anymore. a bit cold heart liao.. haha. heck. I just do the best I could. don't want to bother about him and no point getting angry at such irresponsible person.

jiayou ba! :)

Jay's the man!

yoz brother... this blog dedicated to you lei... thanks for helping your computer-idiot sister a.k.a. me. :P Finally my blog has background song!

At least today I can finish my individual HR assignment. Still a bit angry about yesterday's incident... arghh.. but then again... really useless getting angry at useless person. 我若气死谁如意，况且伤神又费力。unnecessary stress!

谢天谢地，感谢上苍，再与他合作多一个月就可以脱离，但愿我的忍耐度还可以维持那么多一个月。

Don't want to think about that project. I 搞定 other work much better. :)

笨。

觉得自己很笨。

There was a HR project meeting yesterday morning in Engine. I woke up late... rushed down to immediately, arrived almost 20min late. Who knows only my friend alone was there... ok, I thought, we'll wait for the other 2 guys. And... guess what?? They arrived more than an hour late! I just cannot accept it. no doubt I was late... but I did tell my friend before hand that I'll arrived late cos I overslept.. and I did not stroll here and took my own sweet time. But did the guys told that they'll be late?? NO. were they sorry that they werer late?? NO. then what... he complained he's hungry n came without breakfast?? and he actually wanna 发脾气 at me!!! ok, perhaps I'm overly sensitive.. but what the... &^%#@*! arghh... I was really pissed. That's not it.. and they were wasting time! discussing their other project!! Ahh... I do not know how to elaborate it. I'm just plain angry.. my patience have just reached the limit. Maybe I am too sensitive.. my friend didn't complain about it.. in fact, I thought she was pretty ok with the situation... I just dunno what to say.

No, I didn't scold them... as usual 鸟儿就是被 taken for granted. Is my fault for not voicing out. and I just felt stupid. cos I let 2 irresponsible guy to ruin my day. didn't do anything at all... :(

I just need to get more things done today... can't afford to waste anymore of my time.

哎…笨。

鸟儿's simple nice day :)

Felt quite happy today... although didn't do much work. We had project meeting this morning... before that I went to library to look for relevant book for our project.. met 2 of my groupmates there... really 佩服 them, come from east side still can come so early. I'm really glad that our group ppl are punctual and nice ppl... :) After discussion, they brought the press to my room. :S and now my room looks like a store room... very messy with that bulky thing. haha...

Later, met up with Chaiyen n xiugui for lunch at Grillers.. a bit expensive lar.. :S 今天花了很多钱。 But I'm happy with it.. haha.. like very long 3 of us never go out together lei.. though a bit rush.. paisei I delayed our lunch.. :(

Then went Orchard meet up with the girls to buy Maria's present.. :) we went to her Chalet in Pasir Ris, big bungalow.. nice place.. big compound.. had a BBQ... the food were delicious!! thanks to her n her sis n mum.. for all the preparations n everything; n her cousin... for the satays n the otak.. dunno how many otak2 I ate.. :S ate till very very full... Her mum even asked me dapao cake back.. haha.. thanks a lot for everything! It was a simple BBQ gathering but nice... finally I think I found a place of myself among my ME friends.. although we are very different but we get along well :) I'm happy with that. Oh not to forget a cat fight episode during BBQ.. haha.. dunno y there many cats. weird. n saw few "xiu kiong" on the road :S gaoming ahh... luckily was not anywhere near me.

Gui's pics of SoC S15 in her blog suddenly remind me of a lot of memories... those were the days... used to go S16 that not so bright area :S outside auditorium... then we moved to the cold corner... :) Later we moved to S15 Level 3 corridor... and if we are lucky we can get the corridor end corner! My favourite study spot! :) still can remember the guy that looks like laughing buddha.. and the guy that always look wet! Don't think they are there anymore... dunno lei... haha... funny... really bad of us I think, to say ppl like that... bad girl. Anyway, I'm really happy at least S15 give me some happy memories despite the nightmares during yr 1 of programming lab sessions.. really horrible.. :S

Well, tmr will be another day... project meeting again... HR project this time. Tmr is Thursday... means choir day... another day will just pass like that... again.. I guess... :S arghh... no time le... that's the end of my mid term break! I can feel the pressure getting on me even more now... just pray hard and do my best!

船到桥头自然直…but, 船一定是直行吗？我不知道。听天由命吧！相信只要努力，一切都会有好的结果。但愿如此… 加油！^^

forgetful

Becoming very forgetful nowadays... :S I have to make effort to write down the things I need to do else I will not remember.
But somehow there are things just cannot be forgotten easily...
Memories are said to be history, but do you still call it history when everyday I am living in my memories?
Everyday I live in parts of my life where almost everything can invoke some parts of past memories..
It is not an option, but a natural occurance... I cannot explain either.
Weird things happen all the time... and I'm talking gibberish!
Stop, and go to bed little girl... *sweet dreams*

living in my portrayed world

要回去学校了…
鸟儿要坚强，又要独自生活。
很多事情还等着鸟儿完成，加油吧！

I'm wishing on a star*
and trying to believe
that even though it's far
you'll find me dreams to live...

I believe that all things will end well... eventually.
I may be childish, the world may not seem as nice as I think it is
Perhaps I'm living in my own world
a world where dreams do come true...

^^

只是个很普通的女孩

鸟儿很怕很怕昆虫，怕到极点。
为何偏偏就是要给我遇到它？被吓的感觉一点也不好受。:(
有谁又能了解？心里的泪痕 有谁知道
人家都当我是笨蛋，她不只取笑还再吓了我。或许是我真的没用，不好怪她吧…
唉…就怪自己没用。

那晚看了部电视播放的印度电影。
故事很感人…不禁想起很多很多往事…我哭了。
那天晚上鸟儿是与哭声睡着了。

突然觉得自己很懦弱…感觉很害怕，鸟儿不再认识自己了。
自己觉得很累，不想再独自继续飞…鸟儿能坚强多久？
无形中自己也给自己很多的压力，春湘与小女孩每天都在鸟儿脑海里争论不休…
春湘比较坚强，做事非常积极，一切与工作为主。
小女孩渴望被宠爱，觉得工作很累，想真正的休息休息。
可是时间就是不停留，工作始终都要做；一波为平，一波又起。
鸟儿只希望每天能做几个小时的小女孩…可以吗？
只是个很普通的小女孩。

I'm home

I'm home. :)

sigh... feel very guilty for not doing anything whole day. just manage to read few pages of readings only... sleep a lot a lot... like I'm recuperating :S *faint* and I'm not sick or what.. what do I need to recuperate for?

always think a lot... niao.er ah... don't think too much k.. have weird dreams even more often. siao4 liao.. I really can write a book or make a movie.

cannot continue like this.. really macam dunno what am I doing. Doing everything just for the sake of it.. Hopefully when I go back school I can fully recover from my laziness and weird thoughts. No time for me to think la... need to get all my work done. I always feel I can do much more but I'm just not giving all I have.. although I'm keeping in pace with assignments and all... I just think I'm not doing my best.. everyone put so much time and effort and I am like finishing it in such short time.. :S

Anyway, I'm simply glad to be home. :) just jiayou ba girl! dunno what else can I say to mysellf anymore.. haha.

Break

Many thoughts arised today... during project meeting... during lectures... during choir practices... during supper... haha... I think I am getting old dunno why.. today I'm just in a mood of thinking.

Not really exactly in a bright mood... but I try to be bright :)

All od a sudden I felt a distance between people.. seeing conflicts, arguments, discussions, conversations... somehow just felt I'm not belong in that space of time, ok, at least for that moment. Perhaps I'm just too tired.

Yes, I need a break... from everything. Can't possibly think now anymore. haha... saturated. :p

How? macam mana? 怎么办？

Suddenly I feel I'm flooded with a lot of things :S I'm trying to avoid all my work I just want to get home and get away from this place... 我要避风港…

After this semester break I'm really going to be 笑。'k'onfirm! Initially thought can go home on Thursday evening... then think again... aiyah.. better not ponteng choir.. although is kanasai.. but buay sai run away from my responsibility.. so will go lor... already going to skip next monday practice. Feel so bad Friday cannot meet up few of my project groupmates to go study the press.. sorry guys.. really want to go home.. already planned to. Then at first thought maybe can come back by Thurs... then think think again... better not, Wednesday better, can come back do my project.. now that I realised really tak boleh liao!!! must come back on Tuesday.. :( go home 5 days niah.. tak sampai pun.. after minus travelling time 10 hours. Sigh... need to come back pia design project, HR project, and my HR individual presentation still clueless apa nak buat... some more need to study for HR CA test.

semoga berjaya nIao.er! and I so slack some more now... I am so reluctant to start do anything, cos if start is non-stop all the way. Sleep is my priority... no wonder can be a slacker... just wait n see, after term break, see still dare to sleep or not... now must sleep 报仇！haha... Anyway hopefully can survive this second half of the semester, I have no idea how... but I will... somehow... still really dunno how... need some enlightenment... where's the light? haha...

微笑。smile** whatever it is... things are only there to make you stronger and not weaker... 加油！Endure & Persevere!

macam I very great... like sai4 la... now I'm going to sleep first. :p

微笑

微笑 是一种肯定
有时候目标太多，方向不定
有时候更是无能为力 使人心灵憔悴
遇到挫折、困难 甚至失败 心里的泪水有何人看见
无论如何 ─ 以微笑面对 肯定自己
您的微笑 除了给自己肯定 也给人家肯定
微笑是温馨的
因为简单的微笑 人生显得更有生气和希望

*smile*

Do not frown... :) life is too short to keep worrying and frowning. Smile and live life wonderfully.

terrrrrified!!!

Omg... a huge bee just flew in my room! Is about the size of a 50cents coin ok... ggroarr!!! was so super terrrified... horrified... scared the hell out of my life!!!

I was sitting on my bed reading.. then all of a sudden I heard a buzzing sound.. before I realised a bug just flew in my room... great... awesome.. clever girl who likes to open the door wide enough to invite bugs!!! stupid girl!!! ahhh... 笨蛋！My immediate reaction was.. stand up on my bed of course! I dunno why.. :S it was flying and knocking itself on the walls and cupboards.. stupid bug. grrr... does standing on higher platform help? 笨蛋！Anyway that is always my first reaction to insects! best la... whatever face also throw finish liao... My mind was racing... thinking fast.. "what should I do... what should I do... omg... I dare not kill it, I dare not chase it.. and I dunno how am I going to get the hell out of my room... where to find help laa..... " At this moment, my negihbour just past by my door.. don't care liao.. throw face then throw face.. I seek help. luckily she isn't scared... at least dare to catch... but it is really too big!! with the help of my magiclean broom... yes.. what a good idea.. :S siao4.. I was really really scared... and super paisei... I was of no help... no help at all... I managed to get out of my room somehow.. stepping on my chair... OK... finally the bee is under my broom... but the question now is... How are we suppose to get it out of my room???

"plactic bag" my friend suggested.

Anyway by this time already 3 ppl standing out of my door... why lei... cos clever Joanne's voice was heard n my friendly neighbours all came to see what's happening... walau... really 没有用！笨蛋！scold myself 3 times 笨蛋 already... tmr I will wake up as an egg... :S sunny side? I dun think so... scrambled.

ok... so another friend went to her room get plastic bag... why not my room you'd ask? 'cos the friend who is inside my room dealing with the bee dunno where I keep my bag... n I, dare not go in my room... ahh... the more I think the more stupid I am... Anyway got plastic bag but still cannot manage to get the bee inside... is really too big laa... stupid... then wenhui suggested call RA... a neighbour went to help me find yiyang (RA3) but he's asleep... :( she came back with bad news... then another neighbour came... she's my woman! *salute* she said she'll help me... oh thank goodness... I am saved. she came and battled with the bee with a stack of newspapers in her hand... now there are 4 of us standing outside my room... after few seconds... she finally conquered the bee!!! the bee is dead. :( I'm not exactly delighted with it.. but I really dunno what to do ma... is the best solution le.. haiz...

Anyway, thank you very very much to my neighbours... I will not live n write blog now without u all... paisei forgot their names... neighbour room 512 for helping me to get the bee in a fixed position & went down to call yiyang... neighbour room 502 for the plastic bag which never use in the end... room 505 (Sofia) the bravest girl... who helped me get rid of the bee... neighbour room 507 & 510 (wen hui) for the moral support.. thanks a lot a lot...

5 girls to get rid of 1 bee :( what have I done to help myself? really.. Joanne think... what have you done? Nothing! 笨蛋！A bee in my room... and I just stood there and be scared... :S How much lame can I get? Grow up Joanne... why am I always such a small girl... haiz... I wanna cry... I'm sorry Mr bee... and I feel bad about my 笨蛋-ness too...

I confirm gonna be a scrambled egg tmr... retribution of not helping myself and killing a bee... :( I'm afraid of getting nightmares again... *_*

another pig day...

*yawn* I'm so reluctant to wake up again... really a pig! yes, woke up late again today... best liao niao er... 早起的鸟儿有虫吃，迟起的鸟儿被老鹰吃… :S where is the eagle? better hide myself in my pile of work before the eagle comes... 加油吧！

Missing him again when I wake up from sleep... I said a silent prayer for him and is a start of another new day.. :) Well, just do what I'm supose to do and get done with it. Every morning I tell myself... I will live today to the fullest! Everytime I try... *smile* and it works most of the time!

... A new begining...

Finally decided to start blogging :) haha... no reason just for the fun of it..

Just came back from SYC concert... I enjoyed it very much... the 2nd half. *wink* the conductor's voice is so captivating... haha... going to fall in love with the bald ang moh conductor... niao er siao liao... *just kidding*. The pianist for the Jazz pieces was just so natural. I will never be able to play the piano like him... dunno how rusty are my fingers le... :S The soul, gospels, and the lullaby were equally awesome. However, hmm... I don't really understand the first half... perhaps I dunno how to appreciate the songs. Anyway, it was worth the money! *smile* It was a pleasant evening concert I would say... :)

Oh and I finally bought ticket to watch Vienna Boys' Choir! Yay... haha... really 笑! $40 + $2(sistic charge) which means $42! 穷啊…haha... nvm, once in a lifetime.

Somethings just cleared up in my head as well... feeling much happier... treating life much simpler. Things aren't just as complicated or complex as it seems at times, really just a matter of perspective on how we handle them. I will learn and do my best along the way... just keep on learning... :) I'm excited and happy can finally go home on Friday... miss everyone at home *smiling*

ok now... back to reality. haha... I still have lotsa work to get it done. Can you believe that I nearly forgotten I have an assignment due this week??? Am I really getting old... keep forgetting things... will need to start working on that soon! I mean really soon... but I feel so want to finish Chronicles of Narnia too! hmm... just face it... I'm just plain lazy! :p haha... ok, anyway, if I want to go home on Friday I have to chop-chop finish my lab report and assignment at least... else no need to balik. :S 好！I will 加油！hehe... *wink wink*