I'm convinced of the presence of goodness :)
no matter how shitty life is
there will always be goodness
within the complexity of life
our lives are crossed
interwoven by invincible threads
However
I believe
kindness exists in all being
*:)
thanks to siowling, and my kind neighbours who helped me moved my stuff.
perhaps it is my encounter that influenced my thoughts on the general good of people.. whether it is true or otherwise, I really would like to believe there is at least a minimal goodness in everyone =)
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
panic!
It's been raining heavily every afternoon, accompanied by lightnings & thunders... Days are tormenting nearing days of judgment. Everyone is mugging very hard each day... I have sought to studying like 10 hours a day!!! This is a crazy life I must say!
having a mental block right now. can't think. can't study. nothing enters my stupid head.
$^*(^$%#!%$#$)*&)(*&%!%@#^$%
having a mental block right now. can't think. can't study. nothing enters my stupid head.
$^*(^$%#!%$#$)*&)(*&%!%@#^$%
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Solitude
It's weird how life is an irony.. I spent most of my day in solitude.
At certain points of time, I felt I'm the most minute, insignificant being on the planet. I was out alone in the open... for the most of the day. Yes, the feeling got worse when the weather turned bad. Imagine this, out in the forum, all alone, trying very very hard to study... and the weather turned bad, the sky was gloomy, the place was dark... it's difficult to study at such light deprived area. and the exact thought to be stuck up in a place alone in such a weather, is no good at all.
When you needed someone, where is the most important thing in life when you needed the most? I always comfort myself that the love of my family resides firmly in my heart =) it makes me feel better. Friends are great :) but I've learned not to expect anything from them, thus I won't feel so bad about myself.. pity huh.
the face behind the veil
the tears behind the eyes
the sorrows behind the tears
the loneliness behind the laughters
the fear behind the courage
the guise of being happy
the pretense of being joyous
the day is gone
the master of the veil is tired
the veil is removed
My day of solitude.
At certain points of time, I felt I'm the most minute, insignificant being on the planet. I was out alone in the open... for the most of the day. Yes, the feeling got worse when the weather turned bad. Imagine this, out in the forum, all alone, trying very very hard to study... and the weather turned bad, the sky was gloomy, the place was dark... it's difficult to study at such light deprived area. and the exact thought to be stuck up in a place alone in such a weather, is no good at all.
When you needed someone, where is the most important thing in life when you needed the most? I always comfort myself that the love of my family resides firmly in my heart =) it makes me feel better. Friends are great :) but I've learned not to expect anything from them, thus I won't feel so bad about myself.. pity huh.
the face behind the veil
the tears behind the eyes
the sorrows behind the tears
the loneliness behind the laughters
the fear behind the courage
the guise of being happy
the pretense of being joyous
the day is gone
the master of the veil is tired
the veil is removed
My day of solitude.
distraction from routine
My friends and I went out for supper cum night car ride just a while ago...
I realised interesting things about my friends... haha... one outing can tell many things.
Not implicating that they are good or bad but ya.. interesting, it just show how different people are yet we are so alike in many ways.. :)
We went to M's friend T's house to see his fish. I may seem naive, but yes, it is the first time I enter a house through an elevator.. yup, the elevator is just at his front door. such security! good? bad? it has its pros and cons.. haha.. and not to mention how much his fish cost.. but yep, they were beautiful.
Later we went to Geylang for supper. I tried the famous dao huei + you tiao + mee sua really full sia.. haha. I love the dao huei. After that we went to have a walk round Geylang area, ya.. there were many of them tonight.. perhaps cos it's public holiday? better business? hmm.. I dunno. I just knew that it is a legal activity, another interesting thing to note.
V was rather disturbed by the people.. hmm.. ok, I wasn't totally comfortable. I just have nothing to comment about that, except that some of them are actually quite pretty. =) haha...
We went to ECP for a walk. We saw a couple embracing by the beach, in front of their tent, with candles litted on the sandy beach... haha... romantic? I dunno... G said she'll never do that with her bf, M. Haha. impractical, that's what she said. M & Z are more interested than us girls.. haha.. they stood so near the tent we nearly thought they'll get scolded for interrupting their ambience!!
M is a skilful driver. period. haha.. I guess that statement understates his ability. He deserves more credit than that? I dunno. perhaps I'm old.. I disagree with the way he drives.
One more thing.. they have another different interest.. visiting scary places? erm.. I'm a timid person. I just said I'll give it a pass.. and so we didn't.
I also came to know V actually likes fast driving too.. and she is more "engineer" oriented than I am.. wow.. I feel like such a loser.. I shouldn't call myself an engineering student.
well, that was my few hours break from my routine night of mugging.. it was quite "insightful" after all.. hahah!!
Thanks M&G :) for inviting me along to their mini outing..
I realised interesting things about my friends... haha... one outing can tell many things.
Not implicating that they are good or bad but ya.. interesting, it just show how different people are yet we are so alike in many ways.. :)
We went to M's friend T's house to see his fish. I may seem naive, but yes, it is the first time I enter a house through an elevator.. yup, the elevator is just at his front door. such security! good? bad? it has its pros and cons.. haha.. and not to mention how much his fish cost.. but yep, they were beautiful.
Later we went to Geylang for supper. I tried the famous dao huei + you tiao + mee sua really full sia.. haha. I love the dao huei. After that we went to have a walk round Geylang area, ya.. there were many of them tonight.. perhaps cos it's public holiday? better business? hmm.. I dunno. I just knew that it is a legal activity, another interesting thing to note.
V was rather disturbed by the people.. hmm.. ok, I wasn't totally comfortable. I just have nothing to comment about that, except that some of them are actually quite pretty. =) haha...
We went to ECP for a walk. We saw a couple embracing by the beach, in front of their tent, with candles litted on the sandy beach... haha... romantic? I dunno... G said she'll never do that with her bf, M. Haha. impractical, that's what she said. M & Z are more interested than us girls.. haha.. they stood so near the tent we nearly thought they'll get scolded for interrupting their ambience!!
M is a skilful driver. period. haha.. I guess that statement understates his ability. He deserves more credit than that? I dunno. perhaps I'm old.. I disagree with the way he drives.
One more thing.. they have another different interest.. visiting scary places? erm.. I'm a timid person. I just said I'll give it a pass.. and so we didn't.
I also came to know V actually likes fast driving too.. and she is more "engineer" oriented than I am.. wow.. I feel like such a loser.. I shouldn't call myself an engineering student.
well, that was my few hours break from my routine night of mugging.. it was quite "insightful" after all.. hahah!!
Thanks M&G :) for inviting me along to their mini outing..
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
sad news
Just few hours ago.. the card that my best friend sent has arrived. Minutes ago, I received sms from my best friend that her cousin met with a car accident and passed away... ':(
Life's so fragile.. I'm really sorry to hear the news girl.. do take care and I'll see you soon back in Melaka..
May he rest in peace.
Be strong in life, and treasure every moment, we never know what's going to happen next.
And to those family and friends who drive, do be extra careful on the road... Take good care.
Life's so fragile.. I'm really sorry to hear the news girl.. do take care and I'll see you soon back in Melaka..
May he rest in peace.
Be strong in life, and treasure every moment, we never know what's going to happen next.
And to those family and friends who drive, do be extra careful on the road... Take good care.
I've got mail!
Thanks to Wei... :) my best friend from Melaka! It's been ages I've received anything thru mail... ever since the dot.com revolution... all of a sudden, everyone is tech/computer/internet savvy! Who else actually bothers to send a birthday card thru the mail when the e-card is just a clic away.. and most of all it's free!!
no hassle!!
no stamps!!
no need going down to the post office!!
no worries of ur mail got lost in transportation or worse still in end up in some other continent!!
But...
I still like the old ways somehow.. yep, told you I'm old.. I'm not turning 23 for nothing you know :p
okie... tmr's got a tutorial presentation, will try my best lar.. and yes, study hard for exams!! although it seems impossible with such limited time, BUT... just gotta try..
All the best to everyone too!! ;)
no hassle!!
no stamps!!
no need going down to the post office!!
no worries of ur mail got lost in transportation or worse still in end up in some other continent!!
But...
I still like the old ways somehow.. yep, told you I'm old.. I'm not turning 23 for nothing you know :p
okie... tmr's got a tutorial presentation, will try my best lar.. and yes, study hard for exams!! although it seems impossible with such limited time, BUT... just gotta try..
All the best to everyone too!! ;)
prime 23
Happy birthday to mE... 23 is a prime age. =) why so.. I have yet to think of the answer.. apart from 23 being a prime number. :p
From the bottom of my heart, much thanks to all my family & friends, all well wishers, the cards, prezzies, sms(es), calls, dinners, e-card, e-mail, msg(es), etc... I love you all too & to everyone in Melaka, yes, we will meet up soon.. very soon! ;)
Yes, it IS True that my sister and I share the same birthday. :) cool. awesome.
went for FNA consultation today.. it was ok, I really like our tutor.. I dunno why. haha.. She's a nice woman.
Automation lecture was the same. boring.
Exams start next Friday, and I'm in no position to go for exams. Help.
23. Beckham's number. mum's birthdate.
once past 20, it means only one thing.. the embarkment towards 30. how exciting!
I wonder will I still be this crazy at 30... I am not the crazy lass of the teenager anymore now. tamed down a lot.
My tutor told me this today.. "when you reach 30 do not be afraid if you were to switch career, (most of the time, what you study now is determine by the teenager in you while you were in high school), now, when you reach 30, do you still trust a teenager's decision or a mid-lifer's decision?" interesting philosophy ain't? heh..
ok.. that's about it. I have yet to know how to re-write the word IDE (I dread exams!) into DIE (Death is eternal!) til then.. what is so prime about life?
well.. think about it, meanwhile, sweet dreams! nitez...
From the bottom of my heart, much thanks to all my family & friends, all well wishers, the cards, prezzies, sms(es), calls, dinners, e-card, e-mail, msg(es), etc... I love you all too & to everyone in Melaka, yes, we will meet up soon.. very soon! ;)
Yes, it IS True that my sister and I share the same birthday. :) cool. awesome.
went for FNA consultation today.. it was ok, I really like our tutor.. I dunno why. haha.. She's a nice woman.
Automation lecture was the same. boring.
Exams start next Friday, and I'm in no position to go for exams. Help.
23. Beckham's number. mum's birthdate.
once past 20, it means only one thing.. the embarkment towards 30. how exciting!
I wonder will I still be this crazy at 30... I am not the crazy lass of the teenager anymore now. tamed down a lot.
My tutor told me this today.. "when you reach 30 do not be afraid if you were to switch career, (most of the time, what you study now is determine by the teenager in you while you were in high school), now, when you reach 30, do you still trust a teenager's decision or a mid-lifer's decision?" interesting philosophy ain't? heh..
ok.. that's about it. I have yet to know how to re-write the word IDE (I dread exams!) into DIE (Death is eternal!) til then.. what is so prime about life?
well.. think about it, meanwhile, sweet dreams! nitez...
Sunday, April 09, 2006
season of birds, once again...
It is over finally, after one whole year... =) Design project ended on quite a good note. There's another presentation in May.. but I won't be available.
Amazing how time flies.. Birds fly too..
Been freaking busy this whole academic year.. haven't started studying officially for my exams!! great! tell me what I'm gonna do with my life...
had a really bad dream last night.. deaths.. enough said.
Finally completed my Automation term paper, considering the effort I put in just for a mere 20%, hmm.. a bit unjustifiable. haha.. nvm, at least I learn a little about automated pharmacy system.
got back my religion term paper on Friday, got a C for that. It's 30%. Yes, I am sad & disappointed all right. I did put in effort & time for it, but.. perhaps I just have to work triple or more harder than everyone else to be on par.
Decided to watch xmy's dvd "The Three Caballeros" (= yes, really entertaining.. haha.. face it, I got a bit excited watching cartoon character birds.. they are just adorable!
Still got quite a lot of schedules coming week.. doesn't feel like exam is approaching.. which is BAD! real BAD! Exam IS coming!! and that is the FACT!
This chapter will come to an end soon.. in May. and it'll be the season of birds, once again... to be free and to fly home*
Amazing how time flies.. Birds fly too..
Been freaking busy this whole academic year.. haven't started studying officially for my exams!! great! tell me what I'm gonna do with my life...
had a really bad dream last night.. deaths.. enough said.
Finally completed my Automation term paper, considering the effort I put in just for a mere 20%, hmm.. a bit unjustifiable. haha.. nvm, at least I learn a little about automated pharmacy system.
got back my religion term paper on Friday, got a C for that. It's 30%. Yes, I am sad & disappointed all right. I did put in effort & time for it, but.. perhaps I just have to work triple or more harder than everyone else to be on par.
Decided to watch xmy's dvd "The Three Caballeros" (= yes, really entertaining.. haha.. face it, I got a bit excited watching cartoon character birds.. they are just adorable!
Still got quite a lot of schedules coming week.. doesn't feel like exam is approaching.. which is BAD! real BAD! Exam IS coming!! and that is the FACT!
This chapter will come to an end soon.. in May. and it'll be the season of birds, once again... to be free and to fly home*
Saturday, April 01, 2006
why worry?
it's not the end of the world...
not being able to accomplish a assigned task isn't fatal
what's the worst can it get?
"kau fan" intelligent answer!
get help then...
but you know what... where are all the help when you needed it most?
no where can be found.
nvm, it's ok. really.
it's not others mistake for not able to help me.
it's my fault of not having the intelligence & ability to do it.
learn up then...
I'm willing to... but learn from where?
sourced the world wide web for hours but all in vain
sourced the possible teachers I could thought of but all in vain
time is limited, ticking away...
I stared at the blank screen
...
I decided.
I give up.
leave it then...
I will just do whatever that I'm capable of within my means.
Don't have the energy and strength to worry about it
Life's short... yes.
sometimes I wonder am I having mid-life crisis
but if I do, that means I have only another 20+ years to live
wow... time is indeed short
So then, why worry?
Grab hold of life, and start living, my dear... =) I will.
All the best*
not being able to accomplish a assigned task isn't fatal
what's the worst can it get?
"kau fan" intelligent answer!
get help then...
but you know what... where are all the help when you needed it most?
no where can be found.
nvm, it's ok. really.
it's not others mistake for not able to help me.
it's my fault of not having the intelligence & ability to do it.
learn up then...
I'm willing to... but learn from where?
sourced the world wide web for hours but all in vain
sourced the possible teachers I could thought of but all in vain
time is limited, ticking away...
I stared at the blank screen
...
I decided.
I give up.
leave it then...
I will just do whatever that I'm capable of within my means.
Don't have the energy and strength to worry about it
Life's short... yes.
sometimes I wonder am I having mid-life crisis
but if I do, that means I have only another 20+ years to live
wow... time is indeed short
So then, why worry?
Grab hold of life, and start living, my dear... =) I will.
All the best*
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