fear

It's ironic how I feel these days... where is my guts? I'm having more nightmares than usual, not your closet monster or alien abduction or "the ring" kind of nightmare. Mine are so real that sometimes I get the vibe that it actually might be true. I've been dreaming of deaths, being lost, endless work, helpless... it is so real which makes it all so scary.

Damnit I feel so insecure.

Glad I manage to control certain things, I need to be more controlled. I do not want to be one of those people you see on the streets blindly leading their lives.

Battling my fears are the hardest thing. That explains why I am so tired.

Joanne needs to be in control again. I cannot let other people rule my life. Take charge, girl.

love, piggy.